women don't ask

before i left school i went to a seminar at the school of management called Women in Negotiations and the seminar prof talked about a book called Women Don't Ask, about how we often don't get what we deserve because we don't say that we want it. or we say we want it, but we're uncomfortable with the silence that's left after we state our case, so we fill it in with words that end up meaning "but i'm not really willing to stand up for myself right now and you can go ahead and walk all over me." i plan to read the book, but the prof also encouraged practice, so today, when i received my verizon wireless bill for $xxxxxxxx.xx (that is, too many phone calls to set up new services during my move), i decided to call and ask for what i wanted, a lower bill.

of course, i didn't really want to pay a penny more than my normal bill, but since i did in fact make those phone calls and i did in fact sign a contract, i figured i should pay some of their exorbitant fees, so i asked for a 50% reduction (loyal customer, only gone over minutes once in my years of business with them, actually intended to lower my monthly minute allowance, yada yada yada)... he'll see what he can do.
lo and behold, he came back on the line and offered me 25% off my overage fees.

sweet.

i might have been able to push for more, but (apart from a financial issue) this was more a chance for me to practice my negotiation skills and put myself out there to see what happens... not too shabby. maybe i'll take it a bit further next time.

i still have a LOT of trouble overcoming my smiley-happy personality, which i usually use to sweet-talk what i want. (CYF is definitely smirking right now) i've had an easy time at work this week setting up my computer and getting details from hr and other grumpy personnel types, because i smile and laugh even if they're awful people. grumpy people are often surprised out of their normal state by someone smiling at them, probably because it doesn't happen very often. plus, it's got to be a lot harder to be grumpy all the time than to smile right? i mean, it just can't be that bad... so next time you meet a notoriously grumpy person, smile at them like you would a normal person and see what happens! (you can tell a chronic grump from a person having a bad day because a chronic grump has frown lines on their face when they talk - don't frown, and wear sunscreen! only smile lines and scars are okay when you're old, everything else is preventable)

that said, i have more trouble negotiating in person because it might be someone i know, whereas the verizon guy is just a voice (though, i admit, still a voice with feelings) who'll never know that i'm the smiley-happy girl trying to make him stop frowning while we wait for the bus. bring a book man! sometimes waiting is the only break we get all day from our hectic lives.

that and blogging.