during the Exultet. it was beautiful (not as beautiful as G's) and that was worth crying over - but i also missed home so much i could barely breathe. i closed my eyes and pictured our tiny chapel lit with the light of Christ and G's heavenly voice permeating every molecule of air as the anticipation builds for the bells and the trumpets and the guitars and the overflowing choir and the whole parish exclaiming the Alleluia with such immense joy and love that our tiny chapel knows it cannot hope to contain. i pictured my best old friends piled around me, some of whom have moved away themselves, felt their presence and thanked God they were there with me. i opened my eyes again and saw to my right and my left the new friends i've come to love and thanked God they were there with me. it was an extraordinary night, in so many ways, and i almost feel as if this was my first real test of faith, despite having felt that so many other instances were this year... leaving STM in cola is like losing a limb - i'll always remember what it felt like to have, but the spot where it used to be itches like crazy. and i almost feel like i'm cheating on our beloved martyr, since my new home is also called STM.
i study place-based environmentalism, and i guess this is a perfect example of place-based spirituality. despite the excitement of doing something on a grand scale in an exotic place, it's the lilies and doves that lived near the creek behind your childhood house that motivate your commitment.
that said, my new community here is amazing and so full of love. enjoy some pictures of our evening together, which began and ended with enrique's gracious hosting. http://picasaweb.google.com/rebuildmyhouse/Easter2007
our indoor picnic today was just as wonderful. and was a refreshing break from prepping for papers and projects and studying for exams. God truly did make my Holy Week holy... thanks for the prayers. and Happy Easter.
ALLELUIA! HE IS RISEN!!!
4 comments:
He is risen indeed!
Not that it makes it any easier to have missed, but the Exulset WAS beautifully done. If you're like me, there is only one voice you can hear singing:
"O Happy Fault,
O necessary sin of Adam,
that gained for us
so great a Redeemer."
Happy Easter!
I nearly cried, too, at the amazingly beautiful liturgy. St. Mary's in Greenville is awesome. I still miss STM terribly, too, though.
I remind myself that at the moment of consacration, when we break through time and space to participate in the one sacrifce, we are in a real way present with all those in all places and times who share in that sacrament.
I remind myself of this, but I still miss people.
"leaving STM in cola is like losing a limb" I couldn't agree more! The separation last Fall was most painful, but I think I'm over the worst of the grief. Of course, because of the circumstances I was back at STM for Easter doing my usual thing, which felt incredibly wonderful and weird at the same time.
Hope you're doing well! I miss you! Happy Easter!
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